Pepe
The Fountainhead
Where to begin? Some call him the font of all LOpSoc cult. Others call him the "wellspring of insanity". Some attach near godlike status to him, placing him on ceremonial shrines during committee meetings. All we know for sure is that Pepe exists, and he's not going to go away any time soon. As long as the society exists, Pepe has existed in some form to watch over us, and he shall exist long after his physical body is destroyed. Academics and historians (all 3 of them) are busy compiling the life story of our Lord into the "bitchinest quasi-holy book you ever did see", according to an unnamed scholar.
Despite his omnipotence, the Pepe we take as our Lord exists primarily as a cloth monkey. The physical body we currently know as Pepe was created in a textile factory just outside Ashford in 2004, before being gifted to LOpSoc as a gift for supporting The Monkey Sanctuary Trust. This vessel arrived, safe and sound, and everything proceeded as normal until around 15 minutes before the opening night of Sorcerer 2004 at Boldrewood. Until the cloth vessel known as Peppy and the mighty force of Pepe were joined in spectacular fashion.
The Ascension
And so it came to pass that director and general order-giver Richard Peaty was just about to head back into the auditorium, whereupon he heard a mighty voice come from the sky. "Peeeaaaatyyyyyy," the heavenly voice intoned, "present yourself before me." This he did, and the voice spoke again. "I have come among you mortals to bestow my great powers on your people, and stop giggling in the back. I know I said come." And Peaty wept and ground talcum powder into his head, saying "I know not how you came among us, but present us with a sign that we may know your power."
Then Our Lord Pepe appeared unto the assembled throng of LOpSoccers in a light show of many colours, arranged in such a manner that one could see every shade of gay in it. And these lights did course forth into a suitable vessel - none of the LOpSoccers, for the constraints of their mortal forms were too great. The lights flew into the small cloth monkey known as Peppy, reshaping it into an instrument of divine will. And the LOpSoccers were well pleased, and asked the Lord how to consecrate such an act. Pepe merely replied, "Take me on stage, and the power of the audience's adulation shall seal this age-old contract."
And LOpSoc did, and shouted their love for Pepe.
And Pepe responded, "Hup Gay, you breeders."
Thus was the covenant formed.
Freight 1:1 - The Five Edicts (Ten Commandments had some copyright stuff about it, so I had to improvise)
Thou shalt carry Pepe into every show forever and always as a sign of dedication to your Lord. Thou shalt take no other mascots over me, for I am a jealous monkey, and brook no competition. Thou shalt adapt Pepe however it please thee to appear in thy shows. Whomsoever shall carry Pepe into the show shall be the Pepebearer, and they shall be honoured. Honour Pepe, that your days may be long upon the stage of the Annex.
Our Pepe, who art in heaven. Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come, thy will be done, in the Annexe as it is in Harrogate. Give us this day our good reviews, and forgive us for yet more bobbing. Lead us not into the Nuffield, but deliver us from the PA committee. For thine are the memes, the Gilbert and the Sullivan. For ever and ever. Hup, gay.
Apocrypha
Ulf 45:12 - And as Pepe hung upon the cross, the prisoner to his left did lean across and whisper 'I hear the reviewers are in tonight!' But Pepe did not believe, saying thus: 'I can't see anyone who looks like they'd work for the Echo, but there's some humourless git with a face like an old bathmat in the front row!'
Ulf 1:1 - In the beginning, Pepe created the heavens and the earth, and he also created a word, and the word was freight, because freight it great. But there was darkness over the earth, and so Pepe commanded that there be a light within this darkness, and so he created Southampton University, and then said: "What the fuck have I done?"
Ulf 1:6 - And Pepe did look this incestuous orgy of freaks, and he saw that it was good. And he named it LOpSoc. To be holy amongst all things, and foremost among all other societies. Forever and ever, Hup Gay.