Joe Hand
Biography[edit]
Joe "Wanna" Hand is a third year zoology student at Southampton, who kids himself that he'll be able to leave Southampton when he graduates and seek alternative arrangements in London, where the pavements are gold and only sometimes chewing gum. He also sometimes refers to himself in the third person. He was the LOpSoc secretary for the 2014/2015 year, and ordinary member for the 2015/2016 year.
His LOpSoc career began with his first appearance as the Pirate King in the Southampton run of Pirates of Penzance 2014 and Pirates of Penzance 2014 (Harrogate), during which he hip thrusted so much at the audience that his pelvis turned into solid gold. To this day, Joe's hips have about the same value as the GDP of Lesotho. His role as Toby in Sweeney Todd 2014 was more or less the exact opposite of the Pirate King, and turned his co-star Jon North off meat pies and shaved heads for life. To sing as Toby, Joe had to sing higher than his comfortable range, and for around two weeks after the show he spent around three weeks sounding like an understudy for Alvin and the Chipmunks.
He took a small break from LOpSoc shows to star in the cross-PA "mescaline trip" of a show The Case of the Film Genre Killer, before returning to direct H.M.S. Pinafore 2015 with Jon North and several of his knees. His "angry fairy" character for Iolanthe 2015's Harrogate run will not be forgotten - especially not by several other chorus members' boots, which still bear scars from his outbursts of pure, unrestrained rage. Fans of Joe's "great big busshy beard" will be excited to learn that he plays the magnificently fuzzed Tevye in LOpSoc's 2016 production of Fiddler on the Roof.
He has sung for 7 years in a choir, and for 3 of those was part of an a capella group. He owns 37 tortoises, a ferret, a St. Bernard, a cat, two chickens and three preying mantises called Haley, Ophelia and Beans, who are also all part of an a capella group.
He guesses he'd probably like to end up living in the Lake District or something, although anywhere which has a solid supply of d20s and beard combs will do just fine.
Joe died in March 2014 when he was mercilessly shaved off of the face of Ulf, his host organism, but was reborn weeks later after an industrial accident created a perfect genetic clone from three stray hairs, a printout of his Reddit karma, and an old D&D Monster Manual.
Fresher Legends[edit]
-Something about his beard
-Something about a creepy song from Sweeney
History of Roles[edit]
| Performance | Role |
|---|---|
| Double Feature 2019 | Director |
| Princess Ida 2019 | King Hildebrand |
| Patience 2018 (Harrogate) | Male Chorus |
| Patience 2018 | Male Chorus |
| Mikado 2017 (Harrogate) | The Mikado |
| Mikado 2017 | The Mikado |
| Gondoliers 2016 (Harrogate) | Director/Soldier/Chorus |
| Gondoliers 2016 | Director/Soldier |
| Fiddler on the Roof | Tevye the Milkman |
| Iolanthe 2015 (Harrogate) | Angry Fairy/Eli |
| H.M.S. Pinafore 2015 | Director |
| Sweeney Todd 2014 | Toby |
| Sweeney Todd 2014 | Secretary |
| Pirates of Penzance 2014 | Pirate King |
| La Retraite Swan School Nativity Play, c. 1998 | The bitchinest innkeeper you ever did see. |
Major Achievements to date[edit]
- Best Male Performer for playing the Pirate King in the Harrogate run of Pirates of Penzance.
- Didn't die for twenty-five whole years.
- 3867 link karma on reddit - it's not much but it's mine.
- Makes a mean sausage and bean casserole.
- Over 40 Geohashing ribbons.
- Logged over 3500 hours on Guild Wars between the ages of 12 and 17, and inadvertently proved that the number of friends you have is directly inversely proportional to the number of Fissure of Woe beach farming runs you can do in an hour.
- It's 9.
- Successfully beat gaming addiction.
- 8th level paladin.
- Once spent a whole summer learning how to make origami dinosaurs.
- Finished the LOpSoc Victorian Paralympic Pub Croquet -17 for the course.
- Spectacular beard